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UNSHAKABLE CONFIDENCE

Thembi M Fletcher
Aug 9, 2017
4 min read

Recently, I was looking at some old pictures of myself and I couldn't help but notice how much I've changed. And this does not only apply physically, but spiritually, mentally and emotionally as well. Looking back at the sixteen year old version of myself, I had a recollection of all the fears and insecurities that I had about myself. I was always beating myself down with negative comments about my feet being too big-my fingers being too long and crooked- my skin being blemished and unattractive-my hips not being wide enough, and the list goes on and on. Whether this was just a phase or not, I have realized that countless girls and women, and even some men struggle with their self-esteem/self-confidence, and wish they could just fit in. With social media at it's peak, one cannot help but compare themselves to every Jack and Jill they see on the internet..............

I'm not going to tell you to disregard everything that you see the internet because half of it isn't accurate or tell you to stop comparing yourself to everyone because you've probably heard this over a thousand times. Today I am going to be the voice of encouragement by sharing with you the practices that have helped me overcome my self-confidence issues.

When I talk about self-confidence, I don't mean being conceited or prideful; I am simply referring to self-acceptance and self-love.

1) Self-Affirmation

The words that we speak hold so much power, that we often cannot even fathom. It's so unfortunate that most of us don't realize the immense power we possess in the words we say. Over a year ago I came across a series of podcasts on YouTube by a little sweet lady known as Terri Savelle Foy. She confidently taught about how we can change the course of our destiny by practicing that law of affirmation. I was so taken by what she said that day that I decided to give it a try. I researched some bible scripture and picked out a chapter that I desired to implement and exemplify. The famous portion of Proverbs 31:10-31(Virtuous Woman) was my first pick. I committed to reciting the portion of scripture every morning after my quiet time and instead of speaking in the third person, I made it a personal declaration. And I'm sure you already know what I am about to tell you............ Words are phenomenal! I couldn't believe that saying something positive about myself would have a positive effect on how I saw myself, let alone, how I began to carry myself. The words of affirmation were starting to change the way I felt and birthed in me a new sense of purpose. I was finally starting to see who God called me to be. I urge you to try affirming yourself, it will change the way you see and feel about yourself. TRUST ME ON THIS!

2) Take Time To Dress Up

I picked up on this in my early twenties when I was finally able afford to buy my own clothes. Dressing up turned into an exciting hobby which I still practice today and has led to the launch of our online store Locelegance. Whether you decide to go shopping for a new wardrobe or pick out that cute outfit in your closet; the key to feeling good about yourself is looking good. Find clothing that complements your shape or size and your skin tone. Most people often overlook this practice and don't find it as essential as my first point. But, in truth, humans are visual beings, and we are most likely drawn to things that look attractive. Just think about it; If you were given the option to choose between German Chocolate cake and a bowl full of fried wriggly worms, which one would you pick? The cake of course duh! Unless you hate German Chocolate, you are probably locked in on option number one.........Which simply proves my point; so get onto stepping and make an effort to dress up. It will do you a lot of good. Wink!

3) Invest In Yourself

My third and final tip for you today is take some time to invest in yourself. Develop your relationship with God, develop your talents, learn a new skill, read a book please, take care of your body by eating healthy and working out. We spend so much time investing in others and in our jobs or careers, and in the process forget that the most important investment is 'ourselves'. There is nothing wrong with investing in others, but if we spend all our time pouring into something that is outward without continuing to invest inward, we will eventually run out of resources. "In order to have more, you must become more." -unknown-

This quote is reminder that growth is a necessity. The more that you invest in yourself, the more you will grow and gain confidence. The best part is you can start right now; in fact, you have already began the course of change because you are here reading this post. Wink! Wink!

Ultimately, Your true confidence can only be fully discovered when you begin to see yourself as the Father does. Knowing His heart and thoughts towards us is the key to our freedom and the only way of knowing his heart and His thoughts is studying His word. I would love to keep typing but, instead I will end here today.

So until next time! God bless! Love Thembi